Toxic Friendships

I’m a genuinely caring person. I don’t hate someone unless they give me a reason to not like them. I try to see the best in others. I try not to judge.

However, I’ve come to find out that there are some people in this world that are not like this. There are some people that can tell you that you mean the world to them yet turn around and say some horrible things about you to others.

A toxic friendship is hard because you don’t really realize that the relationship is bad for you until you decide to cut ties with them. It takes a lot of courage to completely cut someone that you care about out of your life, but once you do it’s like a weight lifted off your shoulders.

I recently had someone that I really care about stab me in the back. Their name and the events that took place do not matter but the aftermath does.

I was hurt. I was confused. I was trying my hardest to see things from their point of view. To figure out what it was that I had done to cause all of this. It took a while, but I finally realized that I didn’t do anything. This wasn’t my fault.

Dealing with the aftermath of a toxic friendship is draining. However, instead of becoming a bitter person that resents everybody, I’ve grown from this experience.

My two dearest friends and I have become better people from the drama that consumed us for a little over a month this year. We were all dealing with everything in our own ways, but we’ve become so much stronger than I thought possible.

Our friendship with each other actually couldn’t be healthier. We keep an open dialogue within our group now. We make sure everyone is happy and nobody feels left out of things. Not to say that we do everything together, but we are able to make sure that our actions don’t inadvertently hurt someone.

I thought that after I got out of my toxic friendship, I would have a bit of a trust issue when it comes to others. And, for a while, that was true. But after talking things out with my two friends, I have never felt so at peace with my life.

I have never felt more supported and loved by two individuals that I am not related to than I have with these two girls. I have had the privilege of watching them pick themselves up out of the rubble of their own toxic friendships and build themselves back. Taller. Stronger. I’ve learned from the best people how to do so myself.

Now here comes a difficult issue: forgiveness. Its hard to come by but I’m a firm believer that (in certain circumstances) it is best to forgive but to never forget. However, in others, the damage is too much. Forgiveness just doesn’t seem feasible. This topic is different for every person. Some can forgive in the blink of an eye, others in a matter of years, and still others – never.

The best advice that I can give someone that has just left a toxic friendship is to delete that person off social media. All of it. Unless you need to keep them for a professional reason (co-worker, intern, etc.) then you should try to just get rid of them. Seeing them while you’re trying to grow and be happy will only remind you of what they did.

So, that’s just my two cents on this topic. It’s been a prevalent one for myself and my friends this summer and I thought I would write everything (or almost everything) out.


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