I’ve begun to start my mornings out by staring at myself in the mirror and saying two things I love about my physical appearance. Somedays I would repeat the same two things over and over, and others I just simply wouldn’t look at the mirror.
This morning my list grew.
For years I had been severely critical of my body. From my teeth to my weight and even my eyebrows – nothing I saw was anywhere near perfect.
After a rather stressful second semester of college, my self-esteem had plummeted to an all time low. The little voice in my head (thanks to my depression and anxieties) was against me, pointing out my deepest insecurities when I couldn’t fight back.
This summer I committed my time to falling in love with myself.
It was hard. It took a lot of work and it totally did not happen overnight. It was a process that I’m still dealing with right now. Somedays I don’t want to look in the mirror. I would rather lie in bed with baggy shirts on to hide my body away.
Yet I’ve decided that I need to put in the effort and show myself the love I deserve. I’ve begun to take care of my body: drinking more water, wearing face masks, treating my damaged hair (because I may or may not have had pink hair at one point), and lots of lotion. I’ve begun to take care of my mind: avoiding unnecessary stress, cutting out toxic people, and spending my time doing what I love (reading & writing).
I am a work in progress. I am in no way perfect and I never will be. But I’ve started to realize that and, therefore, I’m falling in love with the person that I am right now. Inside and out.
“and i said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath and replied, ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this.'”